bernardo says

Toothpaste Warning

"Warning: If you accidentally swallow more than used for brushing, seek professional assistance or contact a Poison Control Center right away."

It says that on my toothpaste tube.

Seriously.

How the hell are you going to accidentally swallow more than used for brushing? What kind of fucking accident is that? If anyone ever accidentally swallows more than used for brushing, I hope someone accidentally tapes it because I want to see it. I can't even imagine what that accident would look like. Just think about how many views that accident would have on Youtube. And I like how they put "right away" at the end. If you accidentally swallow a tube of tooth paste, what you gonna do? Chill on your stoop for a few with your boys? Knit a scarf? Complete a puzzle of two cute kittens?

The following video only has 19 views. You know why? Because Jayden didn't swallow more than used for brushing....and who you going to believe? Grandma or the toothpaste?

Preview Instructions

I went to see Quantum of Solace tonight and one of the previews told me to go google something. It started with a clip and it was doing its job - I was interested... until "Google Search: 2012" appeared onscreen. Get the fuck outta here. There's no way that I'm going to go google 2012. Well, there's one way - if I was going to write a blog complaining about it and I felt that I should know exactly what I'm writing about and to see if something amazing happens. Well, I googled that number and nothing amazing happened. Nothing about the movie really happened either. The only results having to do with the movie on the first page of results were for imdb, apple trailers and moviefone. The official movie site was nowhere to be found. I refreshed the results page a few times and finally got what I was refreshing for: a sponsored link to the 2012 page on SonyPictures.com. I clicked that link and got three exciting options: register for updates, watch the trailer or worldwide release dates.

Dear Sony, if you're going to push people to the web to find out about your movie, you might want to have a web presence. That would make sense, don't ya think? Granted, I did write a blog about it and mentioned the name of the movie a few times, but I have no interest in this movie. I have no interest in finding out more about this movie. I don't want to see this movie. 2012 preview, you have failed. 

Just?

So what do ya think? Maybe when they first opened up shop, they did just brakes and then they were so super successful that they decided to do other stuff? Or maybe they didn't like the name "Brakes and More"...and what do they  mean by "more" anyways? Tires?  Fresh grown vegetables? Neck massages? Ed Hardy air fresheners?

Speaking of Just...

nothing better?

I like CVS. I like my Extra Care card. With that being said, hey CVS, what were you thinking?

When I hear "Jane Doe" I think of a dead body without a name. Maybe I watched too much Homicide and Law & Order, but a dead body is pretty much the first and only thing that comes to mind when I hear "Jane  Doe." And I have a good feeling that I'm not the only one who thinks like this....with that being said, I'm surprised that nobody at CVS raised the red flag on this ad.

If I was a pharmacy and I wanted people to come to me for their prescriptions, I WOULD NOT put the name "Jane Doe" on the pill bottle in my ads. Think about it. I saw this ad and pictured a dead female in a hotel room with an open/spilt bottle of pills four inches from her hand. There are so many better names they could have used: Sally Sunshine. Beth Feelbetter. Gail Getwell. Iris Improving. Rebecca Rejuvenation. Who knows....maybe they'll put Grim Reaper on the next set of print ads.

Hey CVS, let me know if you need someone to look over and approve your ads before they go into production. You can pay me in gift cards and stock.

Ken Griffey Jr.

Ken Griffey Jr. hit his 600th career homerun tonight.  He's one of the best that I have ever seen play the game. If he didn't miss the amount of games that he did due to injuries, Barry Bonds would NOT be the  career homerun leader. (And it really is too bad that's not the way it is..) Jr. played the game with a smile, style and grace. He was as great in center as he was at the plate. He has a stance that my brother and I often mimicked  during baseball, wiffle ball, stick ball and home run derby games.

Above is his 1989 Upper Deck rookie card. This card brings back more great memories than I could fit in a little league baseball equipment bag. Congratulations and thank you to Ken Griffey Jr.

I'm eating strawberries and nutella right now and it's amazing. If you've never had nutella you should go buy it tomorrow.

I finally saw Iron Man today. I was upset that Ghostface's scene got cut but at least there was a few seconds of a Ghostface video in the movie. The Ghost scene better be a "deleted scene" on the dvd. Besides that issue, I really liked the movie. If there was one more fight scene, I would probably be saying that I loved it. They gave me just enough action for me to really like the movie and still be very hungry for part two.

New Wale: The Mixtape About Nothing. Like Wale but never watched Seinfeld? Listen to the mixtape. Like Seinfeld but have no idea who Wale is? Listen to the mixtape.

I can't wait to wear my Celtics gear now. CEEEELTICS!

Can you hear it? I can. "Beat LA Beat LA Beat LA!"

"I guess that's why I'm here and I can't come back, home...

And guess when I heard that, when I was back, home"

Three and a half days in Boston and I made the most of them.

A while ago, Jessie told me about Kanye's Glow in the Dark tour and that's what got this trip home started. She deserves a huge thank you because we all know I don't come home enough.

Wednesday

- I landed at Logan and took the T to Government Center. I miss taking the train, so taking the T was both welcomed and relaxing. The T is so much better than LA traffic and $4/gallon gas prices. I walked from Govt Center to my brother's work and seeing everyone out with their Celtics (and Red Sox) gear on was awesome. There was a sports buzz in the Boston air that can't be matching by anything in LA; not even Laker playoff "buzz."

I went to game 5 of the Celtics/Cavs series. Jay-z was there cheering on his boy Lebron but it didn't matter: my brother and I were there. Vince had his "Paul Pierce throw your 3's up foam fingers" that he made and I had my Celtics gear on. Those 3 foam fingers are the greatest thing I've seen in a while and V is a genius for making them. C's won by seven.

Thursday

Kelly's Lobsta Roll

Kickass Cupcakes

Kanye West. Possibly/probably the best live performance I have ever seen in my life.

Seriously, I can't say enough about how amazing his performance was. If you still have a chance to see him live, go see him live. You can thank me later. Even if you think he's an arrogant douche, go see him. He was that great. 90 straight minutes of Kanye West. 90 straight minutes of Kanye giving it his all...he was on his game like a perfect game. The only person there who didn't love it was the dude sitting next to Jessie. He slept for Kanye's entire performance. No Joke. He was slouched in his chair and asleep for Ye's whole set. I have no idea what his deal was.

Friday

More family & friends 

Pizzeria Regina

Lulu's cupcakes

I went to my friend's brand new condo. It was awesome; I loved it. It rekindled my desire to buy my own place. I hate renting...

Saturday

Henrietta's Table - Mother's Day Breakfast with the fam.

Bodega - they didn't have my size in this shirt but everyone loved my Roscoe's shirt.

Red Sox Day game. I love the Red Sox and I love Fenway park. Enough said. (But not really; I could write pages and pages on this.) Sox beat the Brewers 5-3 with Ortiz homering, Dice-K improving to 7-0 and me eating three Fenway Franks. So good. So good.  After the game I saw a few more buddies that I hadn't seen in a while...good times.

Every time I go home, it's never for enough time. Three days makes me want to spend three weeks there and I know that three weeks would make me want to spend three months at home...

Dunks on Ice.

You MOS DEFinitely need to watch this!

In case you've been under a rock lately (and not having the internet under that rock), KarmaLoop now has KarmaLoop TV. It has all types of videos including how a New Balance sneaker is made and interviews with everyone from the cast of The Wire to Russell Simmons to Slick of Dissizit. The KL TV "personalities" include Rob Heppler, Clinton Sparks,  Moonshine and Mr. Karmaloop himself, Greg Selkoe.

Recently, a three part interview with Mos Def was posted. Greg talks to Mos about politics, Michael Vick and steroids in baseball while Clinton stands there and acts like a mediator...I guess. You need to watch all three of these right now. You might not agree with everything that Mos Def has to say (I certainly don't) but I bet you a beer that you'll be entertained. I keep wondering if Mr. Def had a few beers before these interviews...

"He called Austrilians Austrians. It's fucking ridiculous. It's completely fucking unacceptable."

"Lassie never took nobody to the playoffs...and Lassie was a bad motherfucker. Could read and drive and fill out job applications....he couldn't throw a football thought. lassie can not throw a football and this is fact."

"I shot you in the ass with steroids. No you didn't. Yes I did. No you didn't. Yes I did. Who gives a shit?!!? And they're at the Senate with this shit?! Fix New Orleans!"

NY State of Mind

I've been in New York since Monday for work. I'll post some pictures when I get back to LA but here are some bits of tid.

- When  was waiting for my luggage at JFK, there was a pigeon sitting on a sign in the airport.

As soon as I got out of the taxi at the hotel, the bellhop/hotel doorman guy starting talking Mets/Sox with me. (of course I was wearing my Red Sox hat.)

- I haven't seen this many: people in "business" attire, people walking, taxis, street vendors selling pretty much everything, people walking or diners (I've been to three in three days) in a while.

- In the same night I saw Brendan Hermes and Terrance Howard.

- I still to buy a pair of sneakers....

frog supreme and what i've been up to

i hate the word "preggers."

i recently got an xbox 360. finally. i was a homebody before; now i'm probably going to be a super homebody.

the wire is the best show on tv right now.

Supreme Kermit Deck

more pics and info here.