"Warning: If you accidentally swallow more than used for brushing, seek professional assistance or contact a Poison Control Center right away."
It says that on my toothpaste tube.
How the hell are you going to accidentally swallow more than used for brushing? What kind of fucking accident is that? If anyone ever accidentally swallows more than used for brushing, I hope someone accidentally tapes it because I want to see it. I can't even imagine what that accident would look like. Just think about how many views that accident would have on Youtube. And I like how they put "right away" at the end. If you accidentally swallow a tube of tooth paste, what you gonna do? Chill on your stoop for a few with your boys? Knit a scarf? Complete a puzzle of two cute kittens?
The following video only has 19 views. You know why? Because Jayden didn't swallow more than used for brushing....and who you going to believe? Grandma or the toothpaste?